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And i feel threatened!" i laughed at myself.? Im so funny... .. . no?... alright... ??????????? Wellanyways that?s when I remembered about my souvenir from last night.? Searching my coat pocket I found it.? Admiring its shinny-ness I decided to sportit for awhile (that means wear it).?After further investigation I came to the conclusion that thisparticular watch had WAY to many buttons.?I mean there was the clock set, and alarm, and something else I hadnever seen before on a watch. But there was like 4 other buttons that had nolabel. ??????????? SoI did like any guy would do, I played with the buttons.? ??????????? Tomy disappointment the watch didn?t even beep. ?Wow,how lame...? ??????????? ??????????? Idecided that it was time to get started with the rest of my day.? Grabbing the rest of my clothes, coat andshoes I was almost ready to go when I looked out the window.? And to my amazement there was a humming birdjust sitting there poking a flower. ??????????? ?Jesusfucking Christ. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.The four seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud and Drought.ORYou can retire to New York City where...You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.You think Central Park is “nature.”You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.You’ve worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car.)You think eye contact is an act of aggressionORYou can retire to Minnesota where...You only have three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas.You have seventeen recipes for casserole.Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair.The highest level of criticism is “He is.
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